This is Matthew Phillips’ personal page. It exists solely to fill the void that would otherwise exist behind my vanity domain, and is likely to just make you stupider if you continue reading.

If you must know: I live in Adelaide, South Australia with my lovely wife, daughter, son, and a hairy dog.

Being a computer nerd, one of my passions is explaining to machines, in excruciating detail, how to do things that human beings do every day without ever realising how incredibly clever they are. In consequence, many of my recipies-for-machines, while being very exciting to me, may seem somewhat pointless to a non-nerd. The truth is, even our hairball-generating dog is smarter than the best computer program I’ll ever write …

It’s much easier to be a dog, that I am sure of.

If you’re still reading this, congratulations! According to my estimates, you’re part of the elite 0.000000028% of the world’s population to make it this far. In recognition of your outstanding persistence, here is a gift of some 90’s ASCII art from my original home page: feel free to borrow it for your own page, but do be considerate and return it when you’re done.

¸.·´¯`·.´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸ ><(((º>